


People as Things, That's Where It Starts

by zelda_hime



Category: Fruits Basket, Fruits Basket (Anime 2001), Fruits Basket (Anime 2019), Fruits Basket - Takaya Natsuki (Manga)
Genre: Canonical Child Abuse, Character Study, Gen, I was really interested in how Ayame came to be How He Is, because he's A LOT, but i don't think it's cause or cure, i'm a bit more interested in mine tbh, manga/2019 anime spoilers about akito, more just symptom, shigure and aya definitely feed into each other's People As Things, strangely lacking in shigure actually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:15:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23698342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zelda_hime/pseuds/zelda_hime
Summary: "There's no grays, only white that's got grubby. I'm surprised you don't know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people like things. Including yourself. That's what sin is.""It's a lot more complicated than that--""No. It ain't. When people say things are a lot more complicated than that, they means they're getting worried that they won't like the truth. People as things, that's where it starts.""Oh, I'm sure there are worse crimes--""But they starts with thinking about people as things."-- Terry Pratchet,Carpe JuguluumAn Ayame Character Study.
Kudos: 15





	People as Things, That's Where It Starts

Ayame Sohma had always known that his mother saw him as a disobedient doll. He told himself it didn't bother him.

He couldn't have told you when he had first figured it out. It seemed natural to him, in the same way that gravity is natural -- it just kind of was. Children are only tolerated by adults because they can be useful. He was the reason they lived in the nice house and that Father had the nice job, and he needed to be quiet and polite when he was required and quiet and hidden when he was not. 

Mother and Father allowed him to play with his cousins Shigure and Hatori for an hour each day, and even then he was to be quiet. It wasn't that hard, since Gure and Hari were quiet too -- they played counting games and school when they were little, but now that they were nearly 7, they decided that they would play books they read. Whenever they were supposed to yell, they whispered instead. Today, Aya was a fierce musketeer captain, whispering ferociously to Gure. "En guarde, fiend!" he hissed, and the boys raised their sticks. They smashed them together, like Gure had seen in a movie once, and they clashed with a crack. 

The sticks cracked again as they fell to the ground, and Aya and Gure both looked to the window fearfully, hands clasping their mouths. They were in Aya's yard today. If Father had been disturbed, Aya was going to be in a lot of trouble -- not just now, but later as well. Father was just scary when he was mad, but Mother's rage hurt. Hari moved to hide the sticks, and the courtyard was still for a long moment.

The children thought they were in the clear. Gure and Hari were.

Hours later, after Gure and Hari were safely in bed and Father's guests were gone, Father and Mother called Aya into the parlor. He entered, already in his pajamas, and saw his mother's face. He tensed and looked down; he wanted to curl into a ball, but he knew that would only make it worse.

"Ayame. Do you know what happened today?" she asked. 

"No ma'am," he said. He knew it was the wrong answer. He didn't know what the right answer was.

"Today, Father and I had some very important visitors. Did we tell you that this morning?"

"Yes ma'am."

"And while we were entertaining our guests, what did we hear?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know," Mother repeated sarcastically. "You were specifically told to be quiet, Ayame. Were you quiet?"

"No ma'am. I'm sorry, ma'am." Still the wrong answer. He didn't think there was a right one, but if he apologized maybe it'd be over sooner.

Mother stood, raised her hand, and slapped him, as Father left the room. Aya waited for it all to be over. He waited a very long time.

___

Ayame was very fond of the little god-girl at first. He sometimes went with the others to go see her and give her little presents. She delighted in a flower, or a pencil, or a story. Shigure wove complex tales for her about knights and princesses and ninja, with magic that was so unlike the curse that it seemed almost more real. He was the only one who called her "she," still. The family head was getting sicker by the day, and even the Zodiac children knew not to get on the wrong side of Mrs. Ren. 

It was a complete shock the first time he saw her hit Hatori.

After the family head died, Akito was kept away from them. When she finally let them back in, it was only for short bursts. Only one or two at a time. She was overwhelmed, so Ayame shrank into himself to give her room. Hatori said something to her -- Ayame wasn't quite paying attention, thinking about the beautiful kimonos Akito no longer wore. Then she socked Hatori in the jaw with all the strength in her 5-year-old body, and screamed in his face. Ayame snapped to reality. He reached out, but some force held him back. He couldn't catch Hatori as he fell to the ground, more surprised than hurt but unable to defend himself. He couldn't say anything when Akito turned on him. When she screamed at him to go, his legs dragged him out of there against his will.

Once they were outside again, the warm sun of the summer day baking their faces, the two boys looked at each other for a long moment. 

So that's what it meant to be cursed.

They were her _toys _.__

__

______ _

__

__Ayame had made a decision, the day he graduated middle school. If he was an object, and a broken one at that, then the best way to be a person was to break in exactly the way that made Mother leave him alone. She had a new toy, anyway; she'd told him three years ago that he had a brother, that it was the Rat, and had mostly left him alone over the last few months. The Rat was beginning to be old enough to be useful; it was only three years younger than Akito, after all. It wasn't broken like Ayame was, apparently. The nurses said it was a quiet child that never cried._ _

__Since Ayame was already broken and Mother had a new doll, it was time to be who he wanted to be._ _

__Shigure and Hatori barely recognized him on the first day of school, even though he'd only changed a little. Shigure had helped him get a fur coat -- Aya suspected he'd stolen it from his mother's closet. He styled his hair in a simple braid, rather than a formal topknot. He had a parasol that was clearly sourced from Ritsu's parents' inn. That's not what gave Hatori and Shigure pause._ _

__Ayame was smiling. He was talking to someone who wasn't named Sohma. He was _laughing_._ _

__At the end of the week, the three of them were doing homework at Shigure's house when Hatori suddenly asked, "Are you happy? Being this, I mean?" Shigure lowered his book to watch Ayame's answer. He felt both of their stares on him, weighing his response. It must be a test. They must have planned this._ _

__Well, turnabout is fair play._ _

__Ayame grinned. "I will be. Are you?"_ _

__

______ _

__

__It wasn't, actually, all that difficult to turn a business degree into a fashion merchandising degree. He simply sparkled and bubbled at the right people until they told him yes. There had only been one person so far that the sparkling hadn't worked on, and she'd helped him anyway. She hadn't seemed annoyed or impressed; she'd seemed to just ignore it and focus on the course requirements. There was always one or two people like that. Hatori had a talent for finding them, in fact; both he and Kanna were immune. That was part of why Ayame liked Kanna so much -- she was almost a real person._ _

__His long nights and longer days had finally turned into something. He'd said the right things to the right people in the right order. Akito and Mother avoided him when they could, Father had forgotten he ever existed, and he had secured an advance and a property from his trust. He had a store. It was precisely the kind of store that he wanted to have, and precisely the kind of store that Akito would promptly attempt to forget about if he ever asked. He knew better than to ask, now. The little god-girl was long gone, and the wrathful god in her place hated anything that reminded him of her._ _

__The last thing he needed was a hostess. If he was too ill to come down to work, he needed someone to staff the store. And who better to sell romance than a beautiful woman? It wasn't as though Akito was going to ask any questions._ _

__Ayame had been open for a few months when the perfect hostess came in. It was perfect for the role, stylistically, with its wide, feminine eyes and wider glasses, its twin braids and lolita outfit. He hired it on the spot._ _

__It bubbled and sparkled too, and was an amazing tailor, and did what he asked._ _

__Until she didn't._ _

__"I'm not saying I don't want to, I'm saying I can't," she repeated patiently. "I always go to my parents' house for their anniversary, and I can't work that week."_ _

__He bubbled again, swanning about the shop. She waited for him to finish._ _

__"Boss. I'm going to Osaka that week. What needs to be done in advance, and what can wait until I get back?"_ _

__Ayame opened his mouth. He closed it. He looked her straight in the eyes, and she looked exactly like Hatori. He'd never noticed it before. She had steel in them._ _

__He realized -- she was a _person_._ _

__"Let me think about it," he said, in a normal voice. The voice he used with Shigure; the voice he used with Hatori and Kanna. "I'll know tomorrow." He didn't bubble, he didn't sparkle._ _

__She smiled in a way that closed her eyes a little bit and tilted her head in the opposite direction it normally did. "Thanks, Boss. I'll be back at seven." She picked up her purse and left, leaving Ayame in a room full of dresses and empty of people._ _

__Mine Kuramae was a _person_._ _

__He'd almost forgotten that he wanted to be one, too._ _

__

_____ _

__

__It took him a while to realize that Mine didn't see him as a doll._ _

__She bubbled and sparkled, for sure, but he began to slowly realize that she was just bubbly and sparkly by nature. It wasn't a tactic. She sparkled even when it was against her interest. She sometimes didn't bubble when it would have served her well. When another woman started to bring her lunch some days, she smiled the same smile that tilted her head the opposite way; she smiled that way at Ayame, too, whenever she talked about her family, her roommates, her friends._ _

__One time, a customer told Mine a joke and she laughed so hard she snorted; as soon as he was gone, she told Ayame the joke too, cracking up the whole time. It wasn't very funny, truth be told, but he couldn't help but laugh, too._ _

__One time, Mine noticed he was a little wan at lunchtime and told him to go upstairs and rest. She brokered no argument. When she caught him coming back down after the shop closed, she chased him back up and made him tea._ _

__One time, Mine ripped an expensive piece of velvet, and guilt instantly flooded her face as she picked it up and apologized to him. Ayame was an expert at lying, and no one could lie that fast. It was sincere._ _

__Many times, Mine showed herself. She wasn't manipulating him. She didn't see him as a doll or a slot machine. She didn't even seem to think he was broken. Slowly, slowly, Ayame began to think, secretly, that she might even see him as a person._ _

__

_____ _

__

__He had been so very careful, but he knew it would happen eventually. He'd just chosen not to think about what would happen when it did._ _

__She saw him become the Snake. It was unmistakable. There's only so many explanations for how you can be chatting with your boss about seam allowances and then suddenly he's replaced by a snake who continues the sentence._ _

__She shrieked, then stifled it with her hands. Ayame knew it was the end. She was going to run away, most likely, and then he'd have to call Hatori. Then she wouldn't know him anymore._ _

__He'd be a doll again. He'd have to be okay with that._ _

__Mine sat stock still. She looked him in his yellow, slitted eyes._ _

__"Boss," she said slowly, "are you okay?"_ _

__Weighing his options, Ayame decided to be honest. "Mostly." Hatori was going to have to wipe her mind anyway._ _

__Mine unfroze a little bit, and reached out to touch his head. "What can I do to help?"_ _

__

_____ _

__

__Mine talked about her life. Ayame learned that the person who brought her lunch and made her smile was her roommate Yuuki, and the name rang a faint bell for him. It was a memory that bugged him. Why was Yuuki important? What was he trying to remember?_ _

__Ayame eventually told her everything, in bits and pieces. He told her about Shigure and Hatori, and about the Zodiac curse, and even a little about Akito. Once, he mentioned the Rat in passing -- his mother's new doll, the reason for his freedom._ _

__"Wait," she said, stopping mid-stitch. "You have a brother? What's he like?"_ _

__Ayame shrugged. "I don't know; I've never talked to him." It was mostly true -- he hadn't. That it had talked to him once was irrelevant. He kept sewing, and she kept not. After a minute he asked her, "Why? Is it important?"_ _

__He looked up, and Mine's eyes were welled up with unshed tears, her mouth open in shock._ _

__"That poor boy," she said, voice thick. Then she got up and left. She didn't come back the next day, or the day after that._ _

__A few days later, he remembered why Yuuki was important._ _

__The Rat -- it had a name. No, _he_ had a name. His brother's name was Yuki._ _

__And he was being treated like a doll._ _

__Mine came back that Monday. She didn't bring it up -- she didn't speak at all. After a few hours, Ayame quietly told her, "His name is Yuki. I left him behind." She smiled a soft, sad smile, and Ayame felt tears run down his cheeks._ _

__He found out that the weight in his chest whenever the Rat had come up, whenever Yuki came up, the reason he avoided this topic -- that was guilt._ _

__Because that child was a person. Children weren't dolls._ _

__Yuki was a _person_._ _

**Author's Note:**

> Ayame is such an intriguing character. I wanted to think about how he got to be The Way He Is - he so clearly has a hard time with understanding people are not things, and he clearly wants to change that. I didn't edit this at all, though, so there's that.


End file.
